Major-General (Retired) Ronnie Somerville, General Manager of the Scottish Special Housing Association in the Seventies, had planned the event with military precision. The Queen had been invited to open a new SSHA housing development in the East End of Glasgow. After the formal opening, she would tour the development and then visit one of the new houses, where she would pretend to enjoy hobnobbing with the hoi polloi by taking tea with the tenant and his family. Early on the morning of the opening, Ronnie set off in his car from his home in Edinburgh in plenty of time for a Press briefing which he had arranged to take place in the chosen house. But like all operations planned by ex-military types, this one contained a fatal flaw. He had forgotten that the roads leading to the housing development would be closed by the Police. He had to park his car miles from the place and walk (quickly) the rest of the way. When he arrived at the house, red-faced and out of breath, he barged through the front door, crying, “The Press! The Press!” On hearing this, the wee Glaswegian tenant immediately opened the door to the hall cupboard, and in rushed the Major-General. (In case you don’t know, a cupboard is also called a press in Scotland.)