A flash of those small, pearly white teeth. A glance from those blue-green eyes. That’s all it took wherever we went – Spain, Italy, France, further abroad, it didn’t matter – and the men were besotted by Alison, while simultaneously despising me. And it was no different that morning somewhere in Spain when Alison decided that we should go horse riding. Inevitably, the besotted instructor helped Alison to mount a small, dainty, docile mare and then handed me the reins of El Bruto – the oldest, biggest and fiercest horse in his stable. “Okay, Cowboy,” he said in English as he watched me struggling to climb up into the saddle. When the line of horses and riders set off, Cowboy, with no input from me, decided that we should take up the rear. Naturally, Alison, with El Instructor by her side, was at the front of the line. Not long into the ride, Cowboy slowed down and then came to a stop. Nothing I did – shouting its name, pulling the reins this way and that, digging my stirrups into its side – would make it budge. We were in the middle of a parched wasteland, the sun was growing hotter and the other riders were specks in the distance. Then, just like in the movies, one of the specks turned into a cloud of dust, which grew bigger as it travelled at speed towards me. It was El Instructor, of course, grinning widely. “A problem, Cowboy?” he asked before patting the horse’s neck, speaking into its ear and giving it a lump of sugar. “Bueno, Paco,” I heard him whisper. It was only then that I realised Cowboy was the sarcastic name he had chosen to call me. And it was on the ride back to re-join the line when it dawned on me that old Paco probably performed the same trick on a regular basis whenever El Instructor wanted to ridicule and belittle a gringo husband or boyfriend. If I hadn’t been on holiday with Alison, I would have nutted the prick.
2 Comments
pat hutchison
25/11/2019 06:28:45 pm
Thinking back masel there's been a few times I wished I'd nutted somebody. But I didnae bother because I wid've been thrashed haha.
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